Shattered
by Resha04
Summary: What was once broken could never be fixed to how it used to be. She learned it a hard way. Set in the First Sino-Japanese War. No romance, just family love. Mention of HongKong, China, and dark!Japan


**I don't own Hetalia**

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><p>She remembered one time in her childhood, when she walked into the corridor and found pieces of Sensei's broken vase on the floor, Korea stood beside it, eyes wide and mouth hung open slightly. He saw her and made a clumsy 'shhh', pointer finger pressed against his lips. His mischievous eyes didn't lose their glint even with guilt.<p>

"Don't tell Aniki. I'll hide it so he won't find out."

She remembered staring at the pieces and said, with children's naivety only her young age could provide, "Can't we just bring some glue and glue them together again?"

She found the answer years, centuries later.

-1876-

"I don't like this."

South Korea was never a type to sit down quietly for more than 5 minutes. But it was unusual to see him pacing back and forth in his failed attempt to keep calm.

"Maybe you should calm down." Taiwan watched his ahoge bouncing with each step. That ahoge never failed to amuse her, even after centuries, with its "ability" to have expression similar to its owner.

"I don't like this."

"Calm down, Korea." Taiwan didn't like it either. No one in the house liked it, she thought.

"He can't do this to me." Korea stopped and decided to sit down instead, facing her across the small table in his room. "He can't do this to _Aniki_."

He crossed his arms, eyebrows scrunched together, his mouth formed a slight pout, but his eyes lack the usual mischievous glint, Taiwan could see that.

She chose to keep silent, staring down at the table, listening to the trees rustling outside, the singing of cicadas, the soft sound of dripping water, and vaguely, the soft rustling sound of Sensei's clothes, brought her to the image of the older man pacing back and forth in his own room.

Taiwan didn't like this, at all. Korea shouldn't be sitting complaining about something that was not even around the that-originated-in-me matter. Sensei shouldn't be in his room at night, especially a full moon one. This house shouldn't be this quiet, this anxious, this restless.

She knew who caused this. She knew that person all too well. And she was too close to him for her own good. Not that she regretted it. No, she _hadn't_ regretted it.

Even though she didn't like this at all, but she wouldn't even think to begin hating that person for that.

Wouldn't, or hadn't, she wondered.

She remembered gentle dark eyes hidden under smooth black hair, his smile on the usually expressionless face, his soothing words whenever she woke up with a nightmare and he had come running to her room; a rare case if Sensei was busy with the other 2 of the younger.

She remembered it all too well to hate, and she tried to deny the feeling of betrayal gurgling inside her stomach.

Her inability to hate that person was not a betrayal to her family, was it?

He was a family as well.

_He had been once._

"I know." She replied, more to herself.

-1884-

"You look bad."

"Because the bad-look-face originated in me, obviously."

Taiwan managed a smile. "Glad to see that you realized that."

"What was that supposed to mean?" Korea sprawled on the floor, arms and legs slightly stretched while being careful for his wounds. His ahoge pouted, for once didn't match its owner face.

Taiwan set the tea cups on the short table and sat down, taking a better look at her brother. The only visible bandages were the ones around his neck. But he looked… bad. His eyes, had been without their mischievous sparks since that day eight years ago, seemed to be staring on something further, something she couldn't quite reach.

"I haven't said sorry to Aniki."

"It's better if you say thank you, instead of apologizing."

Korea kept silent. Only his scrunched eyebrows told her that he didn't agree with her.

-1894-

"Why on earth did he do that?"

Korea looked angry, upset. That was unusual. Rare to be exact. Taiwan couldn't blame him. She thought of the very thing he just said.

"Aniki didn't do anything wrong."

He sounded like a child trying to defend himself in an argument. But since when did he not?

"_He's_ the one who does every wrong act possible!"

But this time he was being reasonable.

She'd seen what _he_ did.

To Korea, to Sensei, to their family. To _his_ family.

Sensei was angry too. But she could see, there was something beyond anger. He was sad. He held back his tears in a desperate attempt to stay strong. He said he had to, or he wouldn't be able to protect them like this. But now it all broke down.

She knew why he was sad. Because the same reason went for all of them. For her, for Hong Kong (if he felt the same, he was perfectly capable not to show it), even for Korea.

That was why she felt like a traitor. She was a traitor because she couldn't bring herself to despise him, or hate him, despite all that had happened, despite the blood and tears that had been spilled, despite all the heart ache and despair, despite the wounds that had been inflicted, despite the betrayal.

"Sensei didn't approve it, did he?"

Korea nodded. "That's why it's bad, Wan."

"I know."

She was a traitor, and she couldn't even bring herself to tell Korea that.

_And thus, the stage was set for conflict._

-1894-

It was the first time Taiwan had seen blood. Not blood from a cut, but blood from a wound.

Korea hissed in pain when he replaced his blood soaked bandage with clean ones. But he didn't refuse when she offered her help.

"I hate him." He mumbled. Like that, he sounded like a child who had just lost a fight.

I couldn't. She thought, and a wave of guilt rushed through her.

"He came to me though, once. "

Her head shot upwards at the statement. Korea didn't notice though, and continued bitterly, his mouth formed a slight pout. "He apologized. Can you believe that? _Apologized_.What did he expect me to do? To forgive him just like that? Heh…."

How is he? She wanted to ask but the question left hanging in her throat. It appeared she didn't have to when Korea spoke again.

"He hasn't changed. At least on the outside. Polite as ever." He snorted. "He seemed different in the battlefield though. All in black uniform and sword."

His gaze shifted to the wall separating their rooms, and she knew, that he was thinking about Sensei, his Aniki, who suffered the most out of all of them, whose injuries might never heal, who had been betrayed by the one he had raised and had come to love. It was painful. It had always been painful.

Taiwan remembered how she could almost see the scar on Sensei's back through his clothes, and despite not being there when that happened, she could almost hear the hissing of the sword, and the smell of blood would linger in her nose.

Determined, in a lower voice that she'd never heard before, with anger that covered all his sadness and despair, South Korea stated.

"I hate him. So much."

And Taiwan hated herself for not being able to.

-1895-

She stood before the front door of Korea's house. Hesitantly at first, she brought her hand up and knocked.

"…..Who is it?"

"It's me."

No answer.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Sorry, but could you leave me alone?"

"No." Not once in her whole life had she heard he wanted to be left alone. That could prove really well that he was not okay at all.

"Korea, open the door."

"Go home, Wan. You're a nation too. Don't meddle with another nation in times like these."

"But I'm your sister as well."

"And he was my brother."

Taiwan bit her lip. _Is he now?_

"Korea, open the door."

"Go home…"

"South Korea, open the door. It's going to be fine. Nothing will happen. I just come to visit."

"Can't you just go home? You're making it harder for me."

She didn't understand, and she refused to understand. This war had torn her family apart, shattered them until nothing but grief left.

No, it was not this war that did this. It was _him_.

And she grieved because of it. In the end, she wasn't able to do anything. She didn't even have the strength to determine her feelings toward him. Would it be better if she just hate him from the start, like Korea? Then she wouldn't have to feel like a traitor, then she wouldn't _be_ a traitor.

But it was impossible. Her memories were far too clear and too precious they jumbled up with her feelings and prevented her to step across the boundaries, to the other side called hate. She loved Japan nii-san too much to hate him. Korea loved him too. And Sensei, he loved him more than they did.

But Korea had stated that he hated him, why couldn't she?

It was simple. Korea had felt the pain firsthand. Everybody felt the pain of his betrayal, everybody had grieved over it. But the second one _he_ had hurt directly was Korea. She had seen it, but she wasn't the one who feel it. Therefore, the pain in her heart wasn't great enough too bring herself to feel that one emotion.

But it was useless in the end. Her inability to hate wouldn't bring him back. And Taiwan could only see, helplessly, that one of the pieces that form her family, her world, had drifted away too far for her or anyone to grasp. So at least, at least let her keep the other pieces close, let them know that she was there for them. Even if in the future she would cut and bleed herself from holding them too tightly, she wouldn't let go.

"Im Yong-Soo, if you don't open the door this instance, I'm going to tear it down pieces by pieces, and oh, wouldn't it be lovely living in a house without a front door so the enemy soldiers can just come in and kick the senses into you."

She waited for another several seconds, steaming in her spot, before the front door opened and the face she hadn't seen only for months but felt like years already, greeted her.

Bandages covered his neck, arms, and one around his head. He looked thinner, his face wasn't as full and round as before, but she was really glad that he was alive. Alive, breathing, standing before her, even with the lack of his usual cheeriness. He was alive. And that was all that matter.

Without second thought, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug.

"I missed you, Yong-Soo." She said, silent tears came down her cheeks.

After several seconds just stood there in silence, Korea buried his face in the fabric of her clothes, arms moved to wrap around her, returning the hug. When he spoke, his voice trembled. But he didn't cry.

"I missed you too, Mei."

_The __Treaty of Shimonoseki__ was signed on 17 April 1895. China recognized the total independence of __Korea__ and ceded the __Liaodong Peninsula__, __Taiwan__ and the __Penghu Islands__ to Japan "in perpetuity"._

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><p><strong>AN:**

First of all, thank you for all who read this fic. I'm trying to make them all in character, but I can't help but feeling that there are OOC-ness.

I like historical fanfics, so this is my first attempt of making it (and my first attempt to make a hetalia fanfic). I tried to write how Taiwan might feel during the Sino-Japanese Wars, how she was torn between 2 different sides of her family. But in this fic, her feelings for Japan was just as a family, or in other words, siblings love. All the love mentioned in this fic are family love.

(Also, while reading about the First Sino-Japanese War, I found out that it was Imperial Japan in the war, so in this fic I used dark!Japan, since I believe that he is the personification of it).

Reviews (critiques, comments, advices) are welcomed, and thank you before for all who review this :D

But no flame please? :)

_1876 – In February 27, 1876, Japan imposed the Treaty of Ganghwa on Korea, forcing Korea to open itself to Japanese and foreign trade and to proclaim its independence from China in its foreign relations._

_1884 - A group of pro-Japanese reformers briefly overthrew the pro-Chinese conservative Korean government in a bloody coup d'état. However, the pro-Chinese faction, with assistance from Chinese troops under General Yuan Shikai, succeeded in regaining control with an equally bloody counter-coup._

_1894 – The Chinese government, at the request of Korean emperor, sent troops to aid in suppressing the Tonghak Rebellion. The Chinese government informed Japanese government about this in accordance to The Convention of Tientsin. The Japanese countered that they considered this action to be a violation of the convention, and sent their own expeditionary force of 8,000 troops to Korea. The Japanese force subsequently seized the emperor, occupied the Royal Palace in Seoul by 8 June 1894, and replaced the existing government with the members from the pro-Japanese faction._

_From Wikipedia_


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